I gave up my Christmas to go entertain the troops in the Persian Gulf this year. I was hoping that they would let me shoot someone, but all I got was this picture instead.

This is Scott Henry, Steve Burr and I aboard the U.S.S. Cape St. George. We performed and stayed overnight on this ship.

This is me with arab santa. The person in the costume was a woman. I guess they are allowed to wear anything as long as most of their face is covered.

They had a Christmas tree in the desert. I'm wearing my flight suit and helmet. Wow, cool picture, but a pretty boring caption, huh?

This is me performing in the belly of the U.S.S. Nassau. The Persian Gulf was so wavy that day, I was trying not to fall over on stage.

Here I'm doing a show in the mess hall of the U.S.S. Cleveland. How embarassing for these guys? They all showed up wearing the same outfits.

If Ashton Kutcher could make trucker hats cool again, I'm pretty sure I can get everyone
wearing these.

We are not fighting the Iraqi army anymore. They are our friends and allies. So far, they've got three troops. This is me with the entire Iraqi army.

Aboard the U.S.S. Cape St. George, they have a bay with over 60 Tomahawk missles. Next to it, they parked a wave runner. I thought the contrast was hillarious!

This is my beautiful girlfriend Jamie. Not the one in the center of the picture, the one making the sand castle to the right.

This is Jamie and I in the "blender."

This is Billy and Rachel McGuigan with Jamie and I. I don't know who the idiot is in the background, but you made it on the site buddy!

Why are we not allowed to hit girls?

There is nothing funny about this picture of the lovely Colleen Quinn and I. What if I told you that neither of us were wearing pants? How 'bout now?

This is my rock, Stacey Hart. Strange things happen when you wear Axe body spray.

I like to take my shirt off at parties. The Todd and Tyler show is always a party, probably because I'm usually still drunk.

Every winter, I play snow football with the McGuigan brothers and Sean Gnant. I prefer to play tackle football against musicians and comedians. Musicians play soft because they can't break their fingers. And comedians don't have health insurance. What did that mean this year? My bruiser girlfriend beat the crap out of all of us! (Not pictured: Billy McGuigan)

My girlfriend is cute and good at football. Your girlfriend sucks. I know. I've met her.

This is me and my friend Bonnie McFarlane outside of Stand-up NY. Some guy with small hands wanted a picture with us.

This is my friend Allison Kickball with Vos and Bonnie. She is a huge Rich Vos fan. Allison, I'm a huge fan of your boobs!

This is me with my friend Lizzy Cooperman outside of the Comic Strip in NYC. Alot of guys think that Lizzy is hot. What they don't know is that her legs don't work.

Josh Wade has the same eyes as a Weimaraner.

This is me with my best friend Ryan's Weimaraner.
(Also pictured, Ryan's 27 inch TV.)

I just moved to NYC (Hoboken, actually). This is my roomate Rick and his dog Nina. Nina pees on the floor sometimes...so do I.

My mom grew five pumpkins in her garden this year. This pumpkin ate the other pumpkins.

This is me with my mom's huge pumpkin.

This is my mom enjoying a rare glass of wine at my show on New Year's Eve.
"Peter, you're drunk!"

Mike Baker is one of my best friends. He can't read.

This is Sara Baker, Mike's wife. I gave a speech at their wedding. She is fun to lick.
Her head is filled with gum.

This is me with the Priest who married Mike and Sara. Right as he walked into the room, I said, "Mike, technically you are not married yet. You could legally be banging someone right now!" The priest was cool enough to pose for a picture.

I love it! Finally, a good picture of Sarah Wyman on my site, and Ryan had to ruin it!

I love my brother Rob. He is getting my niece Victoria into running right now. They are not very fast yet. Just look at the kid who is beating them!