I don't have a drug habit to keep me busy like alot of comics I know. So, when I'm on the road I run and wakeboard instead. These are my wakeboarding buddies from Richmond, VA. From left to right: Garrett, Robbie, Me, Erin and Matty. I mentioned that I was a wakeboarder during my show and we ended up riding all weekend. I can't wait to get back to the Richmond Funny Bone. If I lived there, we would be best friends.

This is me doing a wakeboarding trick called a Tantrum. It is basically a backflip over the wake. When I was first learning this trick, I landed on my face alot.

Here are two more wakeboarding photos. This is me doing a toeside front roll (Left) and a handlepass 360 (right).

The first picture is of Garrett doing an original trick he invented. It is a combination of a tantrum, front flip and an S-Bend. It is the weirdest looking trick, but he lands it every time. The second picture is of Matty doing a tantrum. Matty is the best wakeboarder I've ever been in a boat with. The last picture is of Robbie doing a handlepass 360. Up close, you can see his shorts up his ass crack. I put this one on here for the ladies, for the ladies.

I needed to put a picture of Amanda, Garrett's girlfriend, in this wakeboarding section. She was in the boat everyday drinking Miller High Life. Whenever someone would take a really hard fall, Amanda would yell "YOU SUCK!!!" This is a picture of her cleavage.

I may be the luckiest person that I know. I got stuck in the Richmond, VA airport overnight during Tropical Storm Gaston. That night, I got stuck with Playboy model Amanda Blair. She was stuck in the airport while coming home from her Girls of the ACC photoshoot. This photo (Right) was taken at 5am. We looked pretty haggared. The picture on the left is of her in Playboy. How cool is that? Playboy must have let her wear my Gasmoney CD in her photoshoot.

Marathon FINISHERS!!! Bree and I ran the Twin Cities Marathon last October. I came down with the flu the weekend of the marathon. I ran it anyway. We finished in 5:14:09. I couldn't walk for a week after the marathon. I wore my medal to sleep for two weeks. If the 6,143 people who finished before me would have gotten disqualified, I would have won. I already filed a grievance with the marathon board.

When I'm not on the road doing comedy, I skateboard with a kid named Cody. I shouldn't call him a kid. He's 16 now and almost taller than me. If you remember Dana, the ex-manager of Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, then you probably met Cody before. Cody and I have been riding together for two years now and he's getting really good. He is not afraid of anything. I wish that I was still that way.

I love to skateboard. I used to be a really good skateboarder when I was a kid. I was sponsored by ALVA and Vision Street Wear. I've skateboarded in a video on MTV, and I've done skate demos with Tony Hawk. One time, I got such a bad concussion that I almost died. I got to ride in the Med-Flight helicopter. After that, all the other kids made fun of me because I always wore a helmet. Look mom, I still wear my helmet!

This is my good friend and very funny comic Jeremy Essig. We took this picture when we were roomates for the '04 Montreal Comedy Festival Audition. He writes more than anyone I know. Stand-up comics take laps around the country. It seems like I run into Jeremy on every lap. On every lap, Jeremy gets funnier and funnier.

I wish that Kevin Pollack would stop stalking me. He goes on my web site, figures out what clubs I'm working and always tries to get on the bill. If he asks me to bring him as my headliner one more time, I'm going to snap.

Janet and Cassie manage the South Bend Funny Bone. They are extremely sweet. They both also have HUGE crushes on me. All the pictures you see on her bulletin board are of me. I'm smiling in this picture because they have their hands on my butt.

This is me with Jim Florentine of Comedy Central's Crank Yankers. I worked with him in Columbus, OH and I'm opening for him in Orlando for New Year's. He's really funny and even better to hang out with. Although I've never received any money for it, I believe his character "Special Ed" is losely based upon me. Can't you see the resemblance?

This is me with John Morgan and Darin Overholser at the Cincinatti Funny Bone. It is clear by this photo that we are three rebel rousing punks with no regard for personal property. Why else would we have our dirty shoes on the cushions of this nice leather couch?

I lay down alot of ass whuppins. This photo makes it very clear that Scotty K is really psyched out by me. Scotty and I worked together at the South Bend Funny Bone. He is possibly the nicest guy in comedy. I didn't really whup his ass.

When Maggie Faris is home with her dog Posey, there is nothing she loves more than spraying her dog in the face with 409 cleaner. Forget what you thought, Maggie Faris is no friend of animals. This is actually a picture I took while Maggie was moving to New York. I was no help. She cleaned while I sat on my ass taking pictures. I'm such a good friend.